After her boyfriend used the expression “bumping uglies,” a Twitter follower asked me if our dear Bard had any better euphemisms for…well, bumping uglies. I put the word out an suggestions started rolling in. I thought it might be fun to collect them here for future reference. Feel free to add ones that we missed!
And hey, let’s try to keep it PG-13, I’ve got kids reading.
- “Making the beast with two backs.” Technically a Bible one, I believe, but Iago borrows it.
- “Tupping,” as in, “that old black ram is tupping your white ewe.” Iago again. It sounds more pleasant if you just say “tupping.” 😉
- “Country matters,” Hamlet’s famous line. Personally I always assumed that this referred to … ummm …an entirely different act.
- “Groping for trout in a peculiar river.” I honestly had to look this one up.
- “Dallying puppets,” anyone?
- “Raise a spirit in his mistress’ circle.” Once that one was pointed out to me I realize that it’s just filthy.
- “It’ll cost you a groaning.”
What else you got? Anybody got one that actually sounds nice, and not like it comes with a nudge nudge and a wink wink and a “Know what I mean?”
MERCUTIO
Why, is not this better now than groaning for love?
now art thou sociable, now art thou Romeo; now art
thou what thou art, by art as well as by nature:
for this drivelling love is like a great natural,
that runs lolling up and down to hide his bauble in a hole.
BENVOLIO
Stop there, stop there.
MERCUTIO
Thou desirest me to stop in my tale against the hair.
BENVOLIO
Thou wouldst else have made thy tale large.
MERCUTIO
O, thou art deceived; I would have made it short:
for I was come to the whole depth of my tale; and
meant, indeed, to occupy the argument no longer.