Category: Geeklet Stories

Geeklet 1, Geek 0

~ duane ~ Leave a comment

Been a long time since I posted a geeklet story.

I’m in the kitchen tallying up girl scout cookie money when my wife calls in from the other room, “What year did Elizabeth I ascend the throne?”  I realize that she has picked up one of the kids’ Shakespeare books and is quizzing me.

“Umm….” I say.  History was never my strong suit.  “Since Shakespeare was really young.  I’m going to guess 1560’s.”

“Wrong!” she tells me.  “1559.”

“I was close!” I call back, “I was within 10 years. That’s not bad.”

But then geeklet in the other room hears half the conversation and says, “What’s Mommy need, Daddy?”

“Mommy was just asking me when Elizabeth I became queen.”

So geeklet tells me, “1559.”

Very nice.

UPDATE – I’m told that the actual date is 1558.  Blame the book – the one that my wife was reading from is the one that my kids already read.

Once Again, Geeklets Knock Me For A Loop

~ duane ~ Leave a comment

So tonight it’s bath night and I’m pouring water over my son’s head in the tub.  “Look, a double bubble!” he says.

“Double bubble toil and trouble,” says I.  “Fire burn and cauldron bubble!”
“Fillet of a fenny snake,” I hear out of the 8year old.
“Holy sh*t!” says I, who did not realize that they knew the speech.  (Ok, I didn’t really say that, but I certainly thought it :))  It’s not like any of those are commonly used words, after all.  “Ok, you caught Daddy by surprise, I did not know that you guys knew that speech.”
“Oh sure,” says the 10year old, “Everybody knows that speech.  Fillet of a fenny snake, in the cauldron boil and bake.”
Seriously, the only time I know of that they would have heard that speech (other than the opening line) was when I taught the 8yr old’s Brownie troop.   Either it just stuck somehow, or they’ve been exposed to it in other ways.
Pretty soon they’re going to come at me with Shakespeare knowledge that they picked up independently of me.  I can’t wait.

Geeklet Amazes Me

~ duane ~ Leave a comment

Haven’t done one of these stories in a while.

Back in January, I told the story of working my kids (who are now 10, 8 and 6) through Julie Taymor’s Tempest on DVD.  Basically we’d do 10 minutes at a time, with me muting and pausing as appropriate, to explain what’s going on.

Well, we lost the momentum and it’s been awhile since I’ve popped that one back in.  Every now and then the kids would ask about it, but it’s one of those things you need to be in the mood for (which normally translates to “Just Daddy and the kids”, since my wife’s not a strong believer in using the minutes before bedtime as a teaching opportunity).

Well tonight the girls started cheerleading camp and it lasts an hour longer than the boy’s karate practice so we had some time to kill and in went The Tempest.  We start with the “Thou liest!” scene, as Ariel breaks up the jolly band of “pirates” Stefano, Trinculo and Caliban.

“Is that the guy who never stops talking?” my geeklet asks, as Stefano enters the scene.

“I suppose so,” I say to the unusual question, “He does talk a lot.”

Enter Trinculo.  “Is that the guy that doesn’t stop talking?” he asks again.

“Well, yeah, I suppose Trinculo talks more than Stefano…”

“But where is the white guy?”

“Who?”

“The white guy, the white guy who never stops talking.”

At this point Ariel’s spirit pops up behind Trinculo to yell, “Thou liest!” and I realize that in this interpretation, Ariel is entirely white.

“Oh, him?” I ask.  “Is that the white guy you’re talking about?”  I don’t really think of Ariel as never shutting up, but he’s clearly all white.  My geeklet does not seem satisfied.

Cut, a few minutes later, to king Alonso and his followers wandering around the island (and about to stumble across a magical banquet).  “There’s the white guy that never stops talking!” my son shouts, pointing at the screen.

At Gonzalo.  With his white hair. The guy who never stops talking.

My 6 year old son, having not seen this Shakespeare movie in over 6 months, remembers Gonzalo – a character arguably so minor that I’ve seen a production of this play where he was completely excised (and I wasn’t happy about it, I like him).

Wait, it gets better.

Cut to Prospera handing over Miranda to Ferdinand (and, luckily, I do not have to explain “virgin knot” to anybody).  My son asks, “Now, I know that she’s never seen another boy and that’s why she fell in love with him, but has the boy ever seen another girl? Then how come he fell in love with her?”

….ummm…..ahhh……is this really happening?  Is my 6 yr old jumping back into a lesson on one of Shakespeare’s lesser known plays right where we left off 6 months ago?

These were just two examples.  I was also quizzed on the nature of Ariel’s invisibility and whether he was *always* invisible (except to Prospera), or merely chose to be invisible most of the time.
I am well and truly blown away, I have to admit.  Is it possible that my kids are actually paying attention to this stuff?

I love nights like this.

Geeklet Story Time

~ duane ~ Leave a comment

So tonight my wife’s at work and I’m putting the kids to bed. My older girls are in their rooms reading, and I’m laying (lying?) down in my 5yr old son’s bed with him.

“Daddy!” yells the 9yr old from her room, “There’s a Shakespeare quote in my book!”

“Which one?” I yell back.

“Life’s but a walking shadow…” she begins.

“…that struts and frets his hour upon the stage. A tale told by an idiot, full of sound and fury, signifying nothing.” I reply.  And, yes, I missed a few words in the middle.

“Yes, that one,” comes the reply.

“Macbeth.  That’s a good one.”

“Why is that a good one?” asks the 5yr old.

“Well, he’s sad because his wife died,” I say.

Somehow I end up telling the story of Macbeth. To my 5yr old.  As a bedtime story.  My 5yr old who is prone to bad dreams as it is.

I now present my very shortened, very censored, off-the-top-of-my-head version of Macbeth, suitable for 5yr olds:

Once upon a time there was a soldier in the army named Macbeth. One day when he was coming home from the war he ran into a witch who said, “Greetings, King of Scotland!”

“I’m not king of Scotland, you crazy witch!” said Macbeth.

“Not yet!” said the witch.  “But you will be.”

So Macbeth went home and told his wife this crazy story.  “You know what we should do?” said his wife.  “We should invite the king over, and then when he’s sleeping we should take his crown!  Then you could be king!”

“I don’t know about that,” said Macbeth, “I mean, he’s a good king, he’s never really done anything to us.”

“What sort of chicken are you?!” his wife yelled at him.  “The witch said you are going to be king.  How do you expect that to happen if you don’t take action?”

Macbeth agreed, and they invited the king over to dinner.  Sure enough, that might while he slept they came into his room and stole his crown, and then Macbeth proclaimed himself king of Scotland.

Well this was just plain silly, as everybody knew you don’t get to be king just by taking the crown.  But Macbeth locked himself up in a castle and wouldn’t listen to anyone who tried to talk sense into him.

Meanwhile, the king’s family went off and rallied support to get their crown back.  They brought in Macduff, a brave warrior, to face Macbeth in hand-to-hand combat.  Macbeth thought that he would easily win because the witches told him that he would be king.  But Macduff won the battle, and rather than keep the crown for himself he gave it back to the original king who was the rightful owner.

“What happened to Macbeth?” my audience of 1 asks.

“He lost the battle,” I say, stalling.

“How did he lose the battle?”

“They had a sword fight, and he lost. Macduff made him surrender.”

“So did Macbeth go to jail?” I love the 5yr old perspective.

“You know,” I tell him, “I’m not sure.  The story doesn’t really say what happens next.  But I think you’re right, I think that he probably went to jail.”

At this point, and I am totally not kidding, my 5yr old decides that he’s in a Shakespeare mood, and he wants to hear the one about the father who has to divide his kingdom up among his three daughters but he gets mad because one says she doesn’t love him most of all.  I’m flabbergasted at this – I may have told him Lear like, once, a year or more ago.

As a matter of fact, I have this story that I told my middle daughter back in 2007, but my son was only 18months old! I know I’ve told him the story, but right now I can’t find a link to it.

…continued in part 2, because this is a very long post. 🙂

Shakespeare GeekDad (A Geeklet Story)

~ duane ~ 4 Comments

Why I love what I do:

When putting my 4yr old to bed he informed me that we would be playing “a guessing game.” Normally this is a superhero guessing game, which consists of him saying things like “I’m thinking of a good guy who wears blue and red with an S on his chest,” and I have to guess Superman. Anyway, tonight he says, “A Shakespeare guessing game.”

“Oh, honey, we can’t play that,” I tell him. “You don’t know enough Shakespeare characters. I can tell you a Shakespeare story, though.” I’m thinking I’ll tell him a quick version of Midsummer or something equally 4yr-old-going-to-bed-safe.

So I tuck him into bed, curl up next to him, and ask what story he wants. He tells me, “A story with Hamlet, and Shakespeare…”

“…wait, you want Shakespeare *in* the story?”

“Yes. And… what else characters did Shakespeare write?”

“Well,” I say, realizing now that I’m going to have to improvise, “There was Oberon King of the Fairies, and Puck his faithful assistant.”

“Ok,” he decides, “A story with Hamlet, Shakespeare, Oberon and Puck.”

Oh, wonderful.

“And in the story, Hamlet has to say ‘To be or not to be.’ Twice.”

Great. So, we begin…

“Once upon a time there lived a prince named Hamlet. Hamlet was very sad, moping around the castle all day, because this new king – King Claudius – had taken over the thrown. Hamlet’s dad used to be king, but King Claudius threw him in the dungeon and made himself king. Hamlet was not very happy about this, but you just don’t walk up to a king and say Hey dude, that’s not cool – because if you do that, then he throws you in the dungeon too.

So, Hamlet is out walking the castle grounds trying to decide what do when he bumps into William Shakespeare. “Who art thou?” Hamlet asks.

“I am Shakespeare,” Shakespeare said. “I wrote this story.”

“Well then if thou didst write mine story,” said Hamlet, “Tell me how to get rid of King Claudius and put my dad back on the throne!”

Pulling a pen and paper from his pocket, Shakespeare began to write.

*Poof*

Out of nowhere appeared Oberon, King of the Fairies, and his faithful servant Puck.

“TO BE OR NOT TO BE!” exclaimed Hamlet. “WHO ART THOU?”

“I am Oberon, King of the Fairies,” said Oberon, King of the Fairies. “And this is my faithful assistant, Puck.”

“Dost thou know how to rid my kingdom of evil King Claudius?”

Oberon thought for a moment, then whispered in Puck’s ear.

*ZOOM* In a blink, Puck was gone. Faster than Flash. Almost as fast as Superman.

And, just like that, *ZOOM* he was back again, holding a purple flower.

“TO BE OR NOT TO BE AGAIN!” cried Hamlet, “Where didst thou go so fast?”

Oberon handed the purple flower to Hamlet. “This flower,” said Oberon, “Is quite magical. Have your King Claudius merely smell it, and he will fall into a deep sleep. Once he is sleeping, you can take him far away from the kingdom and restore your father to the throne.”

Taking the flower, Hamlet went back into the castle. He first bumped into his mother, Gertrude. “Hamlet!” she said, opening her arms to hug him, “You look so much happier today! What a beautiful flower, may I smell it?”

“No!” said Hamlet. “I…ummm….got it for King Claudius.”

“That’s very nice of you,” said Hamlet’s mother. “The king is in his office.”

Sure enough, Hamlet found Claudius in his office huddled over his paperwork. “What?” asked Claudius, when he saw Hamlet. Claudius didn’t trust Hamlet very much.

“Brought you a flower!” said Hamlet. “Smell it.”

“Not right now,” said Claudius, “Just leave it on the desk.”

Leaving it on the desk, Hamlet left. Claudius returned to his paperwork. Soon, though, Claudius raised his arms to stretch and take a little break. Spying the flower, he picked it up to smell it.

*THUNK* He fell asleep so hard and so fast that his head smacked right into the paperwork he’d just been working on.

Once they could hear him snoring, Hamlet snuck into Claudius’ office with his friend Horatio. Together they brought Claudius’ sleeping form outside, tossed him over a horse’s back, and set the horse walking on the road out of Denmark. He was never heard from again.

With King Claudius safely out of the picture, Hamlet went down to the dungeon and unlocked his father, who was restored to the throne. And they all lived happily ever after. The end.