Category: Geeklet Stories

Shakespeare GeekDad (A Geeklet Story)

~ duane ~ 4 Comments

Why I love what I do:

When putting my 4yr old to bed he informed me that we would be playing “a guessing game.” Normally this is a superhero guessing game, which consists of him saying things like “I’m thinking of a good guy who wears blue and red with an S on his chest,” and I have to guess Superman. Anyway, tonight he says, “A Shakespeare guessing game.”

“Oh, honey, we can’t play that,” I tell him. “You don’t know enough Shakespeare characters. I can tell you a Shakespeare story, though.” I’m thinking I’ll tell him a quick version of Midsummer or something equally 4yr-old-going-to-bed-safe.

So I tuck him into bed, curl up next to him, and ask what story he wants. He tells me, “A story with Hamlet, and Shakespeare…”

“…wait, you want Shakespeare *in* the story?”

“Yes. And… what else characters did Shakespeare write?”

“Well,” I say, realizing now that I’m going to have to improvise, “There was Oberon King of the Fairies, and Puck his faithful assistant.”

“Ok,” he decides, “A story with Hamlet, Shakespeare, Oberon and Puck.”

Oh, wonderful.

“And in the story, Hamlet has to say ‘To be or not to be.’ Twice.”

Great. So, we begin…

“Once upon a time there lived a prince named Hamlet. Hamlet was very sad, moping around the castle all day, because this new king – King Claudius – had taken over the thrown. Hamlet’s dad used to be king, but King Claudius threw him in the dungeon and made himself king. Hamlet was not very happy about this, but you just don’t walk up to a king and say Hey dude, that’s not cool – because if you do that, then he throws you in the dungeon too.

So, Hamlet is out walking the castle grounds trying to decide what do when he bumps into William Shakespeare. “Who art thou?” Hamlet asks.

“I am Shakespeare,” Shakespeare said. “I wrote this story.”

“Well then if thou didst write mine story,” said Hamlet, “Tell me how to get rid of King Claudius and put my dad back on the throne!”

Pulling a pen and paper from his pocket, Shakespeare began to write.

*Poof*

Out of nowhere appeared Oberon, King of the Fairies, and his faithful servant Puck.

“TO BE OR NOT TO BE!” exclaimed Hamlet. “WHO ART THOU?”

“I am Oberon, King of the Fairies,” said Oberon, King of the Fairies. “And this is my faithful assistant, Puck.”

“Dost thou know how to rid my kingdom of evil King Claudius?”

Oberon thought for a moment, then whispered in Puck’s ear.

*ZOOM* In a blink, Puck was gone. Faster than Flash. Almost as fast as Superman.

And, just like that, *ZOOM* he was back again, holding a purple flower.

“TO BE OR NOT TO BE AGAIN!” cried Hamlet, “Where didst thou go so fast?”

Oberon handed the purple flower to Hamlet. “This flower,” said Oberon, “Is quite magical. Have your King Claudius merely smell it, and he will fall into a deep sleep. Once he is sleeping, you can take him far away from the kingdom and restore your father to the throne.”

Taking the flower, Hamlet went back into the castle. He first bumped into his mother, Gertrude. “Hamlet!” she said, opening her arms to hug him, “You look so much happier today! What a beautiful flower, may I smell it?”

“No!” said Hamlet. “I…ummm….got it for King Claudius.”

“That’s very nice of you,” said Hamlet’s mother. “The king is in his office.”

Sure enough, Hamlet found Claudius in his office huddled over his paperwork. “What?” asked Claudius, when he saw Hamlet. Claudius didn’t trust Hamlet very much.

“Brought you a flower!” said Hamlet. “Smell it.”

“Not right now,” said Claudius, “Just leave it on the desk.”

Leaving it on the desk, Hamlet left. Claudius returned to his paperwork. Soon, though, Claudius raised his arms to stretch and take a little break. Spying the flower, he picked it up to smell it.

*THUNK* He fell asleep so hard and so fast that his head smacked right into the paperwork he’d just been working on.

Once they could hear him snoring, Hamlet snuck into Claudius’ office with his friend Horatio. Together they brought Claudius’ sleeping form outside, tossed him over a horse’s back, and set the horse walking on the road out of Denmark. He was never heard from again.

With King Claudius safely out of the picture, Hamlet went down to the dungeon and unlocked his father, who was restored to the throne. And they all lived happily ever after. The end.

My Mini Macbeth

~ duane ~ Leave a comment

Haven’t told a kid story in awhile. Turns out my 4yr old boy may be the biggest geeklet of them all.

Over the weekend, he was trying to figure out when he had school again. “Do I have school today?”

“No,” I said, this being Saturday, “not today.”

Him: “Tomorrow?”

Me: “Nope, not tomorrow either.”

Him: “Tomorrow and tomorrow?” That’s his way of saying “two days from now.”

Me: “Not quite. One more day.” He actually has Monday off as well as Sunday.

Him: “Tomorrow and tomorrow and tomorrow?”

Me:”Creeps in this petty pace from day to day to the last syllable of recorded time.”

Him: “….What?”

Me: “Macbeth. That’s a line from Macbeth you just recited.”

Him: “….ELIZABETH!” His sister is seated next to him at the breakfast table. “When I said Tomorrow and tomorrow and tomorrow THAT WAS FROM MACBETH!”

He’s also gotten into the habit of making his elders feel stupid. The other day he runs up to his grandmother (my wife’s mother) and says, “To be or not to be, Gammie! Do you know who said that?”

“Was it Macbeth?” she asks.

“No, Gammie, it wasn’t *Macbeth*,” he says, “It was Hamlet!” And then runs off. He does this to his preschool teachers as well.

Drive-by 4yr old Shakespeare. I couldn’t be more proud.

Beware the Geeklet Uprising

~ duane ~ Leave a comment

Note, this post has no Shakespeare in it, just my geeklets. But it’s really the only forum I have to tell stories about how smart my geeklet kids are, and are becoming.

Story #1 : We’re watching a Christmas movie, I’m building a fire in the fireplace. During a commercial my 6yr old – the *6* year old, normally the quiet one – asks me, “How do you make fire?”

Now, I’ve always had a policy of answering their questions as honestly as I can, and I can predict where this is going. I can answer it one of two ways. I pick the easy way. “Well,” I tell her, “You start with a very small fire, like by lighting a match. Then you put things on that fire that burn really easily, like paper. Then you go to small wood, and then bigger wood, and each time you add stuff you get more fire until finally you have a big fire in the fire place.”

“Yes,” she says, “But how do you *make* fire? Where does that first fire come from?”

Visions of E=mc2, mass and energy flash through my brain, trying to figure out how to answer that far more interesting question (which, really, I knew was what she was asking). Luckily, though, the Christmas movie comes back on and she’s no longer all that interested. She is 6, after all. Bullet dodged!

Story #2 : We are watching Miracle on 34th Street, which is an interesting experiment in a house where the children range from 4 to 8 and my wife’s never seen it. So the burden is on me to determine whether this movie, which if you’ve not seen it is basically about a whole bunch of adults trying to convince a child that Santa Claus doesn’t exist, is appropriate for my kids. Are they going to come away believing (which all of them do, by the way), or not?

The movie is a pleasant surprise and basically takes a stand on the message that “No matter what anybody tells you, you can choose to believe things for yourself.” We’ve not yet finished it, so when the kids go to bed each night there’s a million questions. Last night I tried to explain to my 8yr old the difference between “know” and “believe”.

I pick up one of her stuffed animals and hide one hand behind it. “Do you know how many fingers I’m holding up?” I ask.

“No,” she says.

“I’m holding up 1 finger,” I tell her. “Now do you know that I’m holding up one finger, or do you believe that I’m holding up one finger?”

“I know you’re holding up one finger.”

I move the doll to reveal that I am, in fact, holding up 2 fingers. I put the doll back in front of my hand.

“Now,” I said, “Do you believe I’m holding up 2 fingers, or do you know that I’m holding up 2 fingers?”

“I believe you’re holding up 2 fingers,” she says.

“No,” I tell her, “You know I’m holding up 2 fingers because you just saw it.”

“I know,” she says, “But now that your hand is behind the doll again you could have changed how many you put up.”

…. That was actually going to be my next point, and she beat me to it.
You know that scene in all the good science fiction movies where the creation begins to learn faster than the creator can control it, and eventually takes over the world? Yeah, I have moments like that all the time. Wouldn’t have it any other way!  Rise of the Geeklet.

Melt.

~ duane ~ Leave a comment
My adorable 5yr old daughter follows me into the kitchen this evening, holding a small piece of paper.  “Daddy, I found this card,” she says, “Under the couch. I don’t know what it is.”

I know what it is.  “What does it say?” I ask.

She begins to read.  She’s just learning how. “Not…of…an…of an … a g e…”

“Age,” I say.

“Age,” she says, “Not of an age…but…for….all time.”

“Thanks Sweetie,” I tell her, “That’s one of Daddy’s Shakespeare cards.  You can just leave it on the counter.”

🙂 I can’t tell you people how it melts my heart to hear words like that coming out of my kids’ mouths.

Breakfast With Geeklet

~ duane ~ 1 Comment

The story you’re about to hear is 100% true.

We’re on vacation, up in a hotel in the mountains.  We’re having the breakfast buffet, and as is typical, the kids have placemats and crayons to occupy them.  My oldest, at 6, shows her picture and says, “What do you think, Daddy?”

“Looks like a shoe with windows,” I say.  “Is it the old woman who lives in the shoe?”

“No,” she says, with the head tilt and eye roll that all 6yr olds master on their 6th birthday.  “It’s Miranda on the island.  See, that’s her Daddy next to her, and this is the boat that’s going to crash on the rocks.  She’s calling to them, saying that they’ll be safe on the island.  See the people?”

“….”

She flips the paper back over, colors some more, and flips it back so I can see it. “What’s the name of the monster, again?”

“Caliban?”

“Right, Caliban.  That’s him, there.”  Caliban has been drawn in red, and looks rather devilish. Again the flip, the coloring, the flip again.  Now Ariel is up in the sky, like an angel of some sort.  “What else can I draw?” she asked.

“Books,” I told her.  “You need the magic books.” “Right!” she says, and returns to drawing.  “Finished!” I look at the final picture (which I have, and plan to scan when I get home).  The books are in a tree.  “Prospero keeps his books in a tree?” I ask.

“That is the entrance to his secret hiding place,” she says, again with the head tilt and eye roll.

It may never actually happen, but I’d love to be a fly on the wall for that art class: “What did you draw, Hailey?”
“I drew a flower!”
“And how about you, Aidan?”
“I drew a dinosaur!”
“Katherine?  What did you draw?”
“I drew the opening of Shakespeare’s The Tempest.  Act I, Scene 2.”