Shakespeare in Love has become infamous in the world of Academy Award trivia for beating out some war movie about saving private somebody or other. It also guaranteed that Gwynneth Paltrow would forever show up in my Shakespeare news filters every single time she is mentioned because she is now always referred to as “Shakespeare in Love actress Gwynneth Paltrow” (and I’m sure that someday very soon Ralph Fiennes’ brother Joseph is going to get sick of hearing people say, “Weren’t you Shakespeare?”)
Among Shakespeare geeks the movie is a joy, a wonderful example of how you can start with Shakespeare’s material (in this case, Romeo and Juliet) and still make an entirely new and beautiful thing. It should be no surprise that Tom Stoppard, who brought us Rosencrantz and Guildenstern Are Dead, was behind this masterpiece as well.
On Tuesday, January 31, Shakespeare in Love will be released on Blu-ray high definition DVD. Thanks to the good people at Click Communications I have *three* (3) copies to giveaway.
RULES!
1) Whenever I think of this movie I think of the whole Academy Award thing. So I want you to add a comment to this post inventing a “Shakespeare Award” category and nominating a play. Who had the best sword fight? Best Soliloquoy? Best supporting actor in a non-comedic role? Hopefully you get the idea. Best Cross-Dressing?
2) Entries must be received by end of day on Wednesday, February 1. This is a quick one! I like the idea of announcing the winners on Groundhog Day. So you have all day Tuesday and Wednesday to enter (you can make as many entries as you like but your name’s only going in the hat once)!
3) Winners will be chosen randomly from all valid entries received. So don’t be afraid to get silly with your guesses.
4) Contest open to residents of the continental United States due to shipping constraints.
MORE CHANCES TO WIN!
By a spectacular quirk of fate, and the fact that he found out about the release first and alerted me to it, our buddy KJ over at Bardfilm is running his own giveaway, and he’s taking entries until Friday! So don’t forget to go put your name in his hat as well to double your chances!
Who will win? I don’t know. It’s a mystery!
Best Skull: Yorrick the Well-Known, for Hamlet!! (and the crowd goes wild!)
Ah, such yay! Let's see…
Best Excuse for Killing a Family Member
(and the nominees are…)
Richard III
Claudius
Othello
Titus (poor Lavina!)
Best Use of An In-Play Sonnet
Romeo & Juliet
Funniest Death
King John (you know you laughed when Alfred died!)
and, of course,
Best Use of Feigning Madness:
King Lear (Edgar/Tom)
Hamlet (Hamlet)
Now I say let's make some trophies!!
And the nominees for Best Play within a Play are:
"The Mousetrap (aka 'The Murder of Gonzago')" from "Hamlet"
"The Pageant of the Nine Worthies" from "Love's Labour's Lost"
"Pyramus & Thisbe" from "A Midsummer Night's Dream"
"The Taming of the Shrew" from "The Taming of the Shrew"
Best Sex in a Play by Shakespeare:
Titania and Bottom, "A Midsummer Night's Dream"
Viola and Olivia, "Twelfth Night"
Viola and Orsino, Twelfth Night"
Richard and Anne, "Richard III"
Beatrice and Benedick, "Much Ado About Nothing"
Tamora and Aaron, "Titus Andronicus"
Regan and Edmund, "King Lear"
Goneril and Edmund, "King Lear"
Hey Christina, didn't you just win something? I didn't put that in the rules (nor am I doing so now), I just could swear I sent you something recently. But maybe I'm confusing you with Cass.
Best Ass in a Play… Bottom! "A Midsummer Night's Dream"
Worst Hand Sanitizer in a Play… Rubbing ones hand! "MacBeth"
Aww, just read rule number four. So don't put my name in the (probably imaginary) hat. 🙁
Best Stage Placement in a Play… All the world! "Can't remembered"
Best Judi Dench-esque opportunity to steal the whole play with a thirty second appearance: The Porter in Macbeth
Best nonsequitur: The Bishop of Ely and his strawberries in Richard III
Best Adaptation of Historical Events to make the Monarch in Question Look Better than he was:
Nominees: Henry V, Henry VIII, Richard II,
Winner: Henry V
Honorable Mention for Kings Made Out to be More Villainous than they were: Richard III, Macbeth
For Most Awkward Pun: Twelfth Night. My legs do better understand me, sir, than I understand what you mean by bidding me "taste my legs."
For Subtlest Foreshadowing: Hamlet. Hamlet and Laertes refer to throwing around the mountains of Ossa and Pelion, just like two giants in Greek mythology who ended up killing each other.
For Best Bigged-Lipped Alligator Moment: Romeo and Juliet. Mercutio's Queen Mab speech.
Most misquoted play:
Hamlet: “Alas, poor Yorick. I knew him well”
Henry IV: "Discretion is the better part of valour"
Macbeth: “Bubble bubble, toil and trouble.”
Shakespeare Award for Lifetime Achievement: Edward de Vere
Best Special Effects: "Othello," for the Green Eyed Monster.
Best Performance by a Militant Extremist: Caliban.
Shakespeare Award for Etiquette: Two Gentlemen of Verona.
Best Wannabes: The Player King & The Player Queen.
Best Line Delivered in the Course of a Sword Fight:
"Lay off, Macduff, I've had enough."
— Macbeth
Breakthrough Performance:
Hernia, in Midsummer Night's Dream.
Best Pick-Up Line:
Bottom (as Pyramus) in A Midsummer Night`s Dream.
“O kiss me through the hole of this vile wall !!“
Dear Mr. Geek:
Re Continental United States Only:
What's that you say? Canadians are not eligible for the prize?
We kicked your ass in the War of 1812 and you still haven't gotten over it.
Well, fine, be like that.
How 'bout I pick it up in North Dakota?
"Tempt not a desperate man."
p.s. I don`t suppose you`ll be driving through southern Saskatchewan anytime soon …
A suggestion:
Take all of the entries and divide them equally into three piles. One pile goes into the gold casket, one goes into the silver casket, one goes into the lead. Then you pick one winner out of each.
That way you avoid lawsuits and messy trials.
Sorry Nick. Shipping costs come out of my own pocket, and the more expensive it is for me to ship these prizes, the fewer prizes I will be able to ship.
Hey, if you can send me a US Postal address that's fine by me!
(I feel obliged to add, of course, "If your name is randomly chosen as one of the 3 winners.")
Here's one for next time, Mr. Geek. Let's take a line from Shakespeare and improve it by a single word. Not so much for enlightenment as for amusement.
"Alas, poor Yorick! I slew him, Horatio."
Hamlet: "Words … words … birds!"
Orsino: "If music be the food of love, play Brahms."
Hamlet: "What a piece of work is Stan."
Brutus: "Not that I lov'd Caesar salad."
Lady Macbeth: "Unsex me, dear."
Duke Senior: "True is it that we have seen better plays."
Iago: "Who steals my purse steals cash."
Failing that, you could try this: Adapt a title of a Shakespeare play so that it suits an instructional manual.
For beekeepers: "The Merry Hives of Windsor."
For pilots: "Twelfth Flight."
For volleyball players: "As You Spike It."
The Shakespeare Award for Best Ass is a must. But I'm going to go mushy and say that there needs to be a best Shakespearean Kiss award. Some of the best in literature!
Sarah, the Best Kiss is Kate's, and the Best Ass is Bottom's.
"Kiss me Kate, we will be married o' Sunday."
Could there be any nicer kiss than that?
As for Bottom, I hope his Ass is not disqualified just because it happens to be a Mechanical one.
If it isn't too late, there should also be an award for Best Screen Adaptation, in this case of "Midsummer Night's Dream."
The prize goes to "James Cameron's Titania."
Just realized you commented on my post. Back over the summer I wont a book from you by default haha. But other than that, no, alas, no winnings for me.
Still think this needs trophies 😀
What it needs more than trophies is justice.